You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
