I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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