Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
