walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
