I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
