she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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