So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
