saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
