i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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