his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
