their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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