What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
