Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
