Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
