Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
