I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
