I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
