Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
ttyl tear gas
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
