is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
