Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
