If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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