actually, I'm a sock model
grandma shit on top of the toilet
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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