Cold hands, warm shart.
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
