Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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