Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
