I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It was confusing and full of hummus
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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