i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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