Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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