dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
