I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
