3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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