Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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