Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
