My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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