hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
