Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
