I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
