So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
