Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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