Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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