Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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