I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Four minutes until I can fart!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Randomize
