New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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