sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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