I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
