We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
