So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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