Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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