p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
