Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
