dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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